Mass Effect jekyll and hyde
by Diverdog95
Summary: This follows Commander Nick Shepard as he struggles with anger Alcoholism and PTSD but when he meets a young Quarian can she help him out of the darkness and back into the light rated M for very strong langue, sexual content and who knows what else
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: A Butchers beginning**

 _ **MIndoir 2170 1630**_

The smell of smoke and dead bodies fill his lungs with each breath, as he runs faster and faster. Trying to get to his family. NIcholas Shepard draws closer to his house, hearing the screams get louder. That's when he sees his family being pulled out of the house. He charges the closes Batarian tackling him but before he can striking him with a biotic punch another pulls him off and pins him to the ground. "Looks like this one as some fight left in him" The slaver says before punching shepard in the face. " kill the rest of them" he orders the other as picks up Shepard. The Batarians fire upon his family kill all of them. Shepard yells out glowing blue then pulls the Batarian holding him down. Punching him multiple time in the face until the Batarin pulls a knife and slices Shepard's face he grabs his face. Then Batarian Punches him in the gut and points his gun at Shepard "shame kid you would have been worth a lot of money." He pulls the trigger.

 _ **Normandy SR-1 2183**_

Shepard shoots open in the sleeping pod sweating. He opens the pod and walks to the mess hall, stopping by his locker to grab a flask. He looks at the time and signs "Never fails 0300 as always."

He sits at the table and looks around before taking a drink, the whiskey burns as he swallows it. "Can't sleep?" He turns to see Nihlus. Shepard didn't like that Nihlus was here because he always seemed to be right behind him.

"No… what about you?" He mumbles. Nihlus seats in front of him "I guess not" he replies. Nihlus looks at Shepard " You no Shepard if you are having trouble sleeping you should talk to you medical officers."

"I'm fine...so mind your own damn business" he tells him pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. " I would if it wasn't for the drink when you do." Shepard drops the pack, "You um...you saw that?" he says

"I did every night since I came aboard...Don't worry I'm not going to tell anyone, as long as it doesn't effect the mission" Nihlus gets up and hands Shepard the cigarette and says "Just remember war takes its toll." before leaving

 _ **Citadel: Zakar ward Two days after Eden Prime**_

"Kealah this is where I die" She thought as Tali'zorah nar Rayya takes cover behind a dumpster in an alley. She takes a breath before she stands to fire, only to see the assassins fall dead. As a krogan in red armor walks up "Well that was boring. At least we saved the Quarian."

"My name is Tali'zorah nar Rayya, and you would do well to remember that krogan!" she hissed

The krogan laughed "you got a quad on you…" before he could finish a human walked up and glared at him the krogan shut his mouth quick. _He must be important to silence a krogan_ she thought. As she looked at him she noticed that he was different from the human that threat her his hair was a dirty blonde, and his eyes were hazel, but the thing that stuck out was the scar that ran across his mouth and up the left side of his face. She wondered what happened to him, he was kinda cute though

"Hey you got my data?" he said, cute but rude. He walked towards her "you listening, do you have my data"

She took a step back shocked by his hostility. Shepard thought for a second _great I scared her._ "My name is commander Nick Shepard, I'm looking for evidence to bring down a rogue specter. Can you help me?"

Before she could answer a turian walked up "Maybe we should go to the human embassies first"

Shepard nodded " Good idea"

OK that was the first chapter thanks for reading if there is anything that I can do to make the writing feel free to tell me


	2. Chapter 2

Ok everybody I'm back from the long hiatus sorry about that but now that I'm back chapters will becoming every 2 weeks or so. With that this one had to rush through so I'm counting on people to know the really story of mass effect since somethings I will skip just to focus more what this will be about so please give me some feed back anything you might like to see in future chapters until next time

 **Chapter 2: An unlikely team**

 _ **Citadel: elevator to embassies**_

Shepard looks at his team they were a strange bunch to anyone else looking at them.

Urdnot Wrex the krogan battlemaster and gun for hire he is great fighter, next was a c sec officers Garrus he wanted to take Saran down worse than anyone.

He then looked over at the newest member Tali'Zorah he looked over her _she is kinda good looking in a can't see her face way, nice ass, petite body._ He quickly shakes his head to get the thoughts out of his head.

When Shepard and his team walk into the office he finds only Captain Anderson there. "We have the evide…" but before he could tell him Ambassador Unida walks

"What is this Shepard? Gun fight is the wards a full on assault on chora's den you can't just...Who's this?" pointing to Tali

"She has evidence about Saren. I was going to tell you that before you jumped down my throat you asshole" Shepard responded

Undina rubs his hands together "My apologizes, we don't see many Quarians. Why are you here miss?"

"Tali'Zorah nar rayya. I'm on my pilgrimage" she explains about how she found a geth and extracted an audio file. Once she played there was no doubt that Saran was behind the attack

"We need to take this council right away" Anderson said as he and Unida started to leave "let's go Shepard." once they arrived Tail played the recording for the council proving that Saran was indeed a traitor.

The council then agreed to make Shepard the first human spectre telling to go hunt down Saran and bring him back dead or alive.

 **Citadel Tower after the meeting**

" What were you thinking Shepard? Was telling the Council to "Fuck off I'll hunt him down regardless" really a good idea?" Udina asked fuming at him

"Hell yeah it was and beside we got what we wanted . so how about you Fuc-"

Before Shepard could finish Anderson step pulling him a side

"That's enough son, go back to the ship we'll meet you there"

"Right we have much to discuss Anderson, Shepard will need a ship and a crew. Let's go"

Shepard watch as they walked away, before heading over to talk to Tali and the others.

" we all make a pretty good team." they all nodded in agreement, " How would you like to be a part of the crew? I can't promise we will make it back alive, but it will be a hell of a story if we do."

Everyone agreed except Tali who started walking away

'Where are you going snipes? I mean you to"

"Don't call me that, and why would you want me on your crew a Quarian?"

"I work on that snipes, and because you were badass back in the alley and we will need an expert on the Geth and that's you."

Tali couldn't believe what she was hearing, _Maybe he is not so bad after all, certainly not bad looking._ She shook that thought from her head. "Well since you put it that way I'll come a long."

"Great let's all go back to the ship and get ready to go."

I know that was a short chapter but next ones will be long so stay tuned for the updates


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again everybody getting this chapter up a little early this one is going to dive more into the atmosphere of the ship and the personalities of the crew because I always pictured them a little different so here we go chapter 3 as always follow for updates and leave your thoughts,

 **Chapter 3 The New Crew**

Shepard and his team stepped out of the elevator to the docking bay when they were met by Udina and Anderson.

"Good news Shepard captain Anderson has decided to step down from the Normandy." Udina told them. Shepard looked at Tali and Garrus " why don't you two go get settled in."

They headed to the ship Tali looked back to say something but when she saw the look in Shepard's eyes decided against it

"You know Udina I'm sick of your shit, making Anderson step down because you hate me is a low below"

Udina gets ready to say something but Shepard punches him square in the jaw knocking him down" Don't even try to talk to me cocksucker."

"Shepard! What the hell are you think?" Anderson steps in front of him "You can't just go and punch him because of this"

"It's more to it than that Anderson he has always been a prick who only cares about himself."

Shepard started

"I get it son but I'm too old to go chasing someone across the galaxy, and you know it."

Shepard looked down at Udina " I probably should leave before he gets up. Sorry about that sir just made it worse for you."

"It's ok son I'll handle it and keep this from biting you in the ass, go make me proud and stop that son of bitch." Anderson pats Shepard on the shoulder before checking on Udina

Once in the ship Shepard heads to the bridge "Pretty shit about Anderson huh Commander? Man survives a dozen battles to be taking down by some political bullshit"

"You got right joker." Joker turns to him " well the intercom is up if you got an words of wisdom for the mission."

The speakers across the ship activate, everyone stops and listiens. "We've been given our mission hunt down Saran and make him pay for Eden Prime. There is no where he can hid that we want find him. Just remember this is bigger than the human race the entire galaxy is counting on us...so let's bring this bastard down."

Shepard ends his speech and begins to walk away. "Well done commander the Captain couldn't have done better himself" "Anderson gave up everything for us I won't let him down"

Shepard makes his rounds making sure everyone is settled something he always so Anderson do. He had an interesting talk with Wrex, even though he said very little. He then talked to Garrus about c-sec.

He saw Ashley working on and decide to stop by "How's it going Ash?"

"Oh Commander!" Ashley snapped to attention and saluted. "At ease Ash. I like more of a relaxed setting on the ship

"Of course Commander, just caught me off guard was doing some reading.""Oh what were you reading anything good?"

Ash looked down sheepishly showing Shepard her bible she always carried with her "I know what you are going to say not a lot of people follow this anymore, but I can't believe that there isn't a higher being."

"It's ok Ash everyone has something they believe in and I have no problem with it. In fact if any of the other crew are religious feel free to have a service...Just inform me first"

"Of course Commander Thank you." As Shepard is leaving Ash calls out "Wait Sir I know it's a little personal, but do you believe?"

He turned a bit " If there is a God he forgot about me long ago."

She feels a bad when she hears that and turns back to her work that he makes his way to the drivecore to see how things are going there, only to be met by the lead engineer Adams " Shepard why didn't you tell me that you found a new engineer for me."

Shepard gives him a confused look" who are you talking about?" "Why Tali of course I wish half of my guys were as smart as her."

Shepard looks over at her working at one of the stations "Glad she is being helpful. I'll talk to you later." as he heads over to talk to her.

Tali is working away trying to learn as much as she can about the ship as she mumbles to herself. "Looks like you already made yourself at homes Snipes."

She spins around startled " Oh! Commander sorry I wanted to- to be more use-"

Shepard raises his hand "It's ok I don't mind just know you will still be needed for mission."

Tali nods her head looking at him, seeing a different look in his eyes than before. Her mind starts to wonder _Keelah why am I staring at him like this._ "You ok snipes?"

"Huh? Yeah and my name is Tali!" she snaps. "Noted, and you can just call me Shepard if you want everyone else does." he says smiling " I'll let you get back to work."

He starts to head to the door "Talk to you later Shepard." Tali was really grateful to be wearing a mask so he could see her blushing.

Well everyone this took a bit longer had to rewrite and remove some stuff so it wouldn't be too long but the next chapter is already to go after I touch it up as always comment and review also let me know somethings you want to see in this and I will try to add them in


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone sorry for the long delay was moving cross country and that took a lot of me but I am back and ready to continue on with our story this chapter is going to be kind of slow but it's import to Tali and Shepard new relationship without further adieu chapter 4

Also I highly recommend listening to down with the fallen by starset for this chapter

 **Chapter 4: A Long Night**

Shepard made his way to his new quarters after grabbing some items from his locker. Once he was he inside he looked around his new room, "I guess it could be worse." He walked over to his desk laying some paperwork on it before pulling out a bottle of liquor from his bag.

Sitting on the bed he pulls himself a glass, the liquid burning as he drinks it. This happens for a good while before he lays down and passes out into sleep.

The highway is dark minus a faint red glow shepard is running the only thing he hears is gunfire, "Come in! Jackson? White? Does anyone copy" only static "Damn it!" he finally reaches a door slamming his way through it only to be greeted with bodies

He looks around hoping to find someone alive then a voice just a whisper "Your fault."

Looking around for the source only finding himself alone the voices getting louder and louder.

"Your fault. Your fault. Your fault! Your fault!" the bodies start to get up surrounding him.

"No I tried!" He screams before nothing

Shepard jumps out of bed screaming before he gets his Bering looking around he find the bottle quickly taking a drink from it. Checking the time only to find it's just been 3 hours "Well most everyone should be asleep" he gets dressed in his gym clothes and heads to the cargo hold.

Tali tosses and turns in her sleeping pod "keelah how does anyone sleep." she decides to go back down to engineering. As she makes her way to the elevator not really pay attention she runs right into Shepard, she gets knocked back falling down.

"Why don't you watch where you are going bosh-" getting cut off after realizing who it is.

"Hey snipes going somewhere?" He offers her his hand, Blushing Tali grabs it as he lift her up

"I...I'm..I mean what are you doing up so late?" Tali cursed herself trying to figure out why she had such a hard time talking to him.

Shepard chuckled thinking how cute it was when she tripped over her words "Can't sleep so having a drink care to join me?"

"S..sure" Tali told him as they took the elevator down once they reached the cargo hold Shepard climb on top of the mako and reached down "well come on"

Tali grab his hand climbing up the sat next to each other not speaking for a moment, she looked at him seeing sadness in his eyes. "Something on your mind Shepard?"

He just sat there taking another drink from his bottle" Just thinking a lot is riding on us to find Saran.."

"That's not the only thing is it?" trying to pry more from him.

"No it's not…Just things from my past still haunting me" He looked at her, he felt he could talk to her and that she would pity him at least he hoped

"Like what?"

Shepard took a breath "Have you ever heard of torfan?" Tali shook her head

"A lot of good people died there and it's how I got my nickname because of my actions."

Almost scared to ask Tali spoke up "What's the name? And what happened?"

Shepard eyes looked like there was nothing in them as he spoken "Me and my team were sent there to stop some batarian slavers once we landed we made our way to their compound , once inside I decide to split the team to cover more ground. Needless to say it was a bad Idea. I lost the people I was with in the first three minutes, soon the comms picked the rest of my team was surround and taking heavy losses I made my way to their location." He took another drink

"By the time I got there everyone was died and I lost it. I went after the Batarians, killing everyone I saw soon I was outside, I got surround by them."

"How did you make it out?" Tali asked

"I killed them every last one of them, even when the rest tried to surrender. By the time I was picked up by the rescue team I was covered in blood and wounded pretty badly. From that point on I was known as the Butcher of Torfan."

Tali was shocked by his story she couldn't imagine what that must have been like see reached over grabbing his arm, he looked at her. "I'm sorry.." he smiled slightly, "Thanks feels kind of good to talk about it."

"But I've been talking to much your turn."

Tali start off by telling him a little bit about the flotilla but soon moved to her time on the citadel before they met, before she could continue with her story Joker came on the comms

"Uh commander we have a incoming distress signal from a nearby system"

"I'll be right there Joker...Same time tomorrow Snipes?" Shepard asked smiling

"S..sure I'll go get ready in case you need me on the ground"

With that Shepard headed to the bridge

Again sorry for the delay tune in next time for X-57 as always review give some advice


	5. Chapter 5

Knocking this chapter out really quick since it has been a while so I want to start adding songs suggestion for each chapter if I can think of one for each one just depends so look out for those well let's get to it for this chapter couldn't really think of a song but if I had to pick one

Maybe. haunted by disturbed

Chapter 5:: Big Down the Sky Part 1

"What's going on Joker?" Shepard ask once he got to the bridge.

"A mining operations asteroid is on a on a collision course for Terre Nove other than that I don't know much." Joker told him. "Great set a course for it drop us down in the mako."

"Ay Ay Commander."

Shepard called his team over to the mako to pick the ground team "Alright we don't know much about what is happen, but here's who is going with me. Ashley you're coming to watch the mako and to cover us should we go into any buildings, Tali as tech support and Wrex since we might need a heavy hitter. Let's move out"

Joker maneuvers the Normandy into position and heads towards the asteroid, "Commander we will be over the drop zone in 30 seconds." "Copy that Joker just give me the green light."

Everyone except Shepard was looking around the mako "What's wrong none of you every do a mako drop?"

"Just the simulations Commander." Ashley responded

Tail and Wrex just shook their heads.

"Well then you are in for a treat." Shepard said laughing

Joker came over the comms "over the drop zone in Three...two..one...drop!"

A green light lit up and Shepard hit the release switch

The mako flew out the cargo hold, free falling didn't seem that bad Tali thought that was until the thruster kicked in jerking everyone forward, then all at once a sudden impact. "We made it." Shepard said laughing "How's everyone doing. Wrex you look a little pale." he add

Wrex just grumbled, Ashley was leaned over before sitting up holding a bag.

After dealing with the first to thruster propeller the asteroid with relative easy it was time for the last one.

"Same Thing with this one in and out." Shepard told them

"Um Shepard I'm picking up mines on the radar" Ashley told him

" Great looks like going on foot for this one Ash keep us covered from here, Wrex , Tali let's go" he said before jumping out of the mako

The team made a run to the door, never slowing for the enemies guarding it. Once inside they made quick work of the remaining batarians, then shutting down the thruster, after walking out of the control room they was face to face to with three Batarians.

"This doesn't have to end in bloodshed" Charn said still holding his gun pointed at the team.

"That's a funny suggestion coming from a fucking blink" Shepard responded with venom.

Tali was a little shocked at his response she new he had a temper but this was pure hate in his voice.

Charn jumped back in. "Look human we didn't want to do this it was suppose to be a quick slave grab." After hearing that Shepard started to glow blue "is that right? Sense that is the case, this is definitely going to end with you dying." before Charn could respond Shepard charge him, grabbing him by the throat and the other to getting knocked back by the force.

His team fired killing the remaining Batarians. Once Wrex and Tail made sure everything was clear they turn back to Shepard who now had Charn on the ground. "P...please... human let me go." Shepard gaze was cold, he shot him in the leg "Agh..Fuck you human."

Tali and Wrex just watched. "You see if it was anyone else I'd might let you go but I have no sympathy for slaver trash." Before Charn could say anything Shepard started punching him over and over till his face was a bloody pulp, even after Charn had died he keep punch using his biotic more and more.

Tali had enough she walked over to him slowly grabbing his shoulder gently, Shepard stopped turn quickly his fist raised "It's ok Shepard he is died." she said softly. He looked back at Charn he slowly started to relax soon realizing what he had done. _Shit I can't believe I did that in front of Tali.._ He thought.

"Um yeah let's keep moving." He them. Wrex started to leave the room, once he was gone Tali spoke up, "Want to talk about it?"

"Later" was all shepard could say as he walked away.

Thought I'd knock this one out for you really quick part two will be up soon hope you enjoyed it

Tell me do you like a more brutal Shepard? If you don't like just stick around as the story progresses it will change thanks to Tali… if you have any suggestions for the story feel free to share them and I will work it into this still next time. Also let me know if you like the song picks for each chapter and if not i'll probably bring someone into help


	6. Apologies

Just to let everyone know I'm not dead or anything just been really busy with work and moving also broke my computer but don't worry if you are still waiting for an update to my story it is coming very soon


	7. Done for now

I would like to apologize I will be stepping away from the story for awhile I just can't find the motivation to keep writing it for the time being I will still be uploading, Stories in the future just not for mass effect for the time being. The story is not dead, I just want to focus on something else for now, I hope the one's who are following this will stick around for my next stories until, I am ready to return to this one


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